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Monday, November 4, 2013

When "masculinity" becomes misogyny


Women’s role in society has come under the microscope lately with established, successful women like Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg pushing women to “lean in.” Ultimately, as CBS News paraphrased of Sandberg, women “worry too much about being liked and turn down opportunities in anticipation of having a family.” But when I came across the opinion of Matt Forney, who in his case against female self-esteem, believes that women don’t deserve self-esteem, I could barely speak.

I’m not sure something as blasphemous as that post even deserves recognition as legitimate, but sadly there is a select group of misogynistic men who find women to verify these egomaniac personalities. This opinion needs to be thoroughly dismantled for the good of women...and men.

1. Nobody “deserves” self-esteem. It is an inherent human right.

I’m not sure where Forney earned the right to claim the authority to delegate the right to self-esteem, but everybody has the right to self-esteem. How one decides to exercise that right is of their own volition. People on either extreme end of the spectrum (arrogance or cowardice) are often ridiculed but everyone has the right to find their own place in that spectrum.

MattLogicTM applied to another situation sounds something like this: “blacks have done nothing to deserve self-esteem in a country driven by hardworking White America. After all, the only thing that African-Americans did was perform slave labor for their noble, worthy masters."

Hopefully he’ll snap back into the 21st century sometime soon. And maybe he’ll head back to the dictionary and realize that respect and self-esteem are significantly different terms. It’s clear, Matt, that you don’t respect women—as evidenced by this first point where you refer to women as “girls” in the title and then refer to the opposite gender as “men” only ten words later. But that doesn't mean they can't still have self-esteem.

Despite roadblocks, women have proven to be quite capable in previously male-dominated fields, too. Experts say that by 2017 we will see female doctors outnumber males. In the past 40 years, the number of men entering medicine has doubled. Women in medicine has increased 10-fold. Newsflash: life would not “go on as usual” without women in the workforce.

2. Physiological differences do not make women inherently insecure.

Fact: men have a lot more testosterone than women. (Maybe it comes to a surprise to MattLogicTM but testosterone is actually a precursor to the “female hormone” estrogen, so they are quite intimately related.) As a result, men are physiologically built with more absolute and relative muscle mass. And since you’re so into “natural state” of women, Matt, let’s continue the science discussion. Evolution is centered around the concept of natural selection, so what makes more sense for the survival of a human population: a female who sacrifices the ability to bring a child to term for physical strength equal to men, or a female body that naturally has more adipose tissue for energy storage and usage for feeding two bodies during pregnancy?

Physiological differences in reproductive capacities say nothing about the psychological capabilities of women. They say nothing about the psychological security/insecurity of women. (Now whether you project there to be a correlation between the two is a different story…)

Humans have changed Earth in a way that no other species has ever done. So the connection between physiology and current sociology are poorly correlated at best in a species that, in many ways, defies the "laws of nature." Sorry, we are not a pack of wolves looking for an alpha-male in a freezing winter. We have houses, heaters, and a capacity to alter the environment in “unnatural” ways.

Just yesterday, Google paid homage to a woman whose intellectual capacity exponentially far exceeds your (or my) own, Matt.

You are attracted by vulnerability. You believe that female insecurity “unlock[s] our inner masculine instincts.” What you don’t realize is that you can still be the center of a girl’s world without needing these extreme characteristics. What you are looking for is less than what we even expect of children. You want a doll—and not the kind you’re thinking of, but rather the kind that has packaged stuffing inside her.

3. Women want to have self-esteem. The problem is men have taken it away from them.

Change is not pretty. Men with your mentality have persecuted women for hundreds of years. So when a few bold women come forward (like the Rosa Parks and Susan B. Anthonys of the world) to provoke change it isn’t easy and it sure will not come in one fell swoop. It takes time just like the equal rights movements to follow. There are still cultures today that are patriarchal—maybe that’s where MattLogicTM is derived from?—but that does not validate anything more than the fact that historically men have confused muscle mass with mental capabilities. And a few girl bands today does not accurately represent the entirety of women.

A fourteen-year-old child was shot by Taliban militants as a result of activism to encourage girls to go to school in Pakistan. That girl, Malala Yousafzai, was nominated for the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize. This bears repeating: full-grown, adult men with guns thought they were tough and wanted to assert their masculinity by nearly killing a girl.

Maybe that girl doesn’t earn the “respect” of MattLogicTM but it did impress a committee that is executes the will of the chemisty, engineer, and innovator, Alfred Nobel (who, by the way, is a male—shocker, right?).

Your opinion denigrates women…but also men. I don’t ever want to be associated with a delusional opinion that you try to pass as fact. Women have every equal right of opportunity that men have.

That includes self-esteem.

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